Rama: Stop Accusing Albanians of Crime, Or I’ll Attend NATO Summit in My Underwear

During a press conference on Saturday, Edi Rama threatened that he wouldn’t allow Albanian criminals to be used for the internal political fights of European countries. At the end of an informal meeting with the other prime ministers from the Western Balkans, Rama declared that he refuses “any by the politics or media from the EU countries for internal reasons and internal consumption to point out so-called ‘Albanian crime.'”

Asked by a journalist what I would concretely do if Europe didn’t change its abuse of Albania, Prime Minister Rama stated without hesitation that as a sign of protest he would go to political meetings with European leaders without sneakers. And if that doesn’t work, the Prime Minister said, he would escalate his defense of Albania by attending next year’s NATO summit in Brussels in his underwear.

As most extreme measure, the nuclear option, so added the Prime Minister, he would consider attending the UN General Assembly in September 2018 naked, if this would further Albania’s interests against the abuse by the old politics of the EU countries.

One of the journalists most familiar with Prime Minister Rama’s reasoning, the shrewd analyst Baton Haxhiu, wrote a thorough article a few days ago in which he explains Prime Minister Rama’s attempts to change the old European politics through his esthetical diplomacy. He was optimistic that Rama’s recent threats would once and for all put an end to the abuse of especially the Netherlands.

Haxhiu, usually a man of little words and restraint, wrote:

It is clear that Europe is very conservative. With all of Edi’s efforts for more than four years, through his smart esthetical politics, with sneakers and tshirts, European politics still couldn’t be emancipated. Now Edi has decided to use the language of force, which seems to be the only language that Western countries understand. Horrified by the nuclear missiles that Kim Jong-Un is preparing in North Korea, Europa wouldn’t dare to allow Edi to use his nuclear option in front of the UN General Assembly.

Several political analysts, however, remain skeptical of Haxhiu’s argument. They think that before Prime Minister Rama uses his nuclear option, he needs to exhaust all the softer solutions, including piercing his nose and navel, some tattoos on his neck, leopard-print accessories, and perhaps even sandals and white socks.

The analysts suggest that in this type of battle, insistence is the key to success. History shows that the pioneers of large social transformations initially are misunderstood by the establishment, but eventually are imitated and finally adored. The cases of Kim Kardashian and Bleona Qerreti are the living proof of this great truth.

But apart from the debates between the political analysts of Tirana, one thing is for sure: one way or the other, Prime Minister Rama will not allow the Western world to insult and curse Albanian criminals.

Not the entire article is satirical. Baton Haxhiu’s real article may be read here, whereas Edi Rama declaration is found here.