By Fatos Lubonja
Ministers or Work Horses?

As far as I know history, I cannot think of any normal country in which eight ministers were changed at once and that the Prime Minister presented that not as a sign of a political crisis, but as a sign of the successful job done by the fired ministers. Of course not in democratic countries, but not even in those with a “regime” did I ever hear of such a thing happening without that regime earning the epithet “grotesque.” Because if we follow this type of logic, the first one who should be fired for his great merits would be the Prime Minister himself. No, this can only happen in a regime where the man at the top has his head in the clouds, is completely nuts, and therefore doesn’t treat his ministers like ministers, but like horses.

It may be thought that I am drawing a parallel between the Prime Minister and Caligula, who appointed his horse as senator to ridicule all the others. No, I wasn’t thinking about Caligula’s horse, even though I do not deny that I feel enormous scorn and aversion against the fired ministers, who until their final day in office didn’t halt their bad deeds. I came up with the comparison of the ministers with horses when I read Edi Rama’s declaration, which stated that they were dismissed to speed up the “caravan,” to make it go faster, as well as his comment that the faster the caravan goes, the more the dogs are barking. Considering the fact that he is nuts, my first thought was that the Prime Minister must really enjoy the sound of barking dogs, and that to further stimulate this incredible pleasure he needs new horses to speed up the caravan because the old ones are tired. But you will ask me, dear readers, what about the Prime Minister? He is the strongest horse of the caravan, so how come he’s not tired?

Here I think we need a more detailed description of the caravan. We have to imagine the government like a horse cart that pulls and leads the caravan behind it. Although this cart is pulled by horses, the Prime Minister is not the main horse, but rather the driver whistling at the horses to go faster, if not fly. Because, as I said, we don’t have a democracy where the Prime Minister is considered the first among equals, a “primus inter pares,” as they say in Latin, but an insane regime.

But our main problem is not whether we live in a regime or democracy. Our main problem is: for whom is the cart running with such speed and where is it taking us? If we start from the fact that the driver considered his accomplishments of 2018 a success and wants to increase the speed of these successes, then, keeping in mind that his greatest success last year was the acceleration of theft (with concessions, with tenders in collaboration with organized and disorganized crime), it seems that we’re going in the direction of even more theft.

Even though the cart has picked up speed with all the people that have left the caravan and moved out of the country, alleviating the burden on the horses, the driver is not content. He wants to steal even more, faster, and higher. So, he needs fresh horses. Someone may say this has nothing to do with insanity, but with the thievery of a bunch of brazen thugs. According to me, kleptocrats have a rational side, with which they plan their thefts in detail, but also a crazy side that makes them unable to live without stealing. Take our driver as you like, as a brazen thug or as insane. We don’t have time to make a proper diagnosis. We should hasten to cut our caravan loose from his cart, and let him go to hell with all his horses. Because otherwise who knows in what ravine we’ll end up.

Published by Balkanweb, translated by Exit.