From: Natan Haasnoot
The Gifted Artist Presents His Glorious Vision for the Nation

Through a Facebook post, the Gifted Artist has informed his People Who Love Albania about Ten Points that He will undertake during the first 100 days of His new Government, which will be installed in September by the new President and Enemy of the People Ilir Meta.

After a series of lengthy and fruitful meetings in which He lent His ear to the sufferings and worries of His humble servants, the Patient Listener speaks of many “battles,” “fights,” and “wars.” We will stand beside Him and will gladly give our blood and economical prosperity for His noble cause.

First is His revolutionary co-governance platform, which will launch “a comprehensive battle against parasites and predators in every state office.” The Timeless Reformer, who will launch a “process of holding all directors of agencies, inspectorates, directorates, and state offices accountable in public meetings,” will bring back public accountability to where it belongs, once and for all ridding our nation of the hated and corrupt enemies of the people who have infested all branches of government.

Considering the excellent experience with People’s Justice during the Cultural and Ideological Revolution, we are ecstatic to see that the Uncorruptable Judge will once again listen to the True Voice of the People. Indeed, we will produce nothing, but sentence everyone!

When He declares that He will “conclude with an incontestable victory of the State Police the war of this year and declare an end to the ugly story of massive and illegal cannabis cultivation in Albania,” we do not doubt that this victory indeed will be incontestable, and that even those who continue to drag the name of our Beautiful Double-Headed Country through the mud under the disguise of rule of law will have to bow their misshapen heads in the greatest humility.

Furthermore, the Tireless Improver will “battle against the abuse of drinking water,” “begin a thorough cleaning of the national roads,” “declare war like never before on the pollution of the environment,” and “start the long battle for food safety.” We heard His battle cry and will follow Him in action, voluntary or involuntary!

Clean water, safe food, and roads without risky crossings are all that we need in order to bring this country forward, and we cheer on the Ultimate Urbanist’s attempts to bring those responsible for damaging our cars, spitting in our food, and polluting our waters to accountability. As no true friend of the Majestic ex-Mayor would ever think of harm the interests of the Albanian nation, we expect large parts of the country’s despicable oligarchy to fall down to its knees and beg for forgiveness, once the Eternal Executive unleashes His Ten Points in September.

We applaud that hardly any of these points relate to the key priorities set by the EU in order to open accession negotiations: improving the public administration, fighting corruption and organized crime, strengthening human rights and property rights, and empowerment of the judiciary. These poisonous concepts are the product of a retarded bourgeois ideology intent on submitting the glorious Albanian nation to the yoke of vile foreign interests. Never again!

Finally, we massively applaud His genuine and down-to-earth realization that a Worker’s Paradise cannot be built in one day:

As may be understood a part of these operations extend beyond the limit of 100 days, but it seems to me that starting them on the first day of the new mandate is a condition for their success. What do you think?

What we think?

Death to Democracy, Freedom to the People!